This is Lamar’s Story
This is the story of the Herrings who completed their family with a little girl, Lamar. Shane prayed for a little sister, someone to love and care for, to protect, and yes, to occasionally torment. Their prayers were answered on May 16, 1990 with the birth of a beautiful, perfect little girl, Katherine Lamar Herring. Named for her grandfather, not only was Lamar a beautiful child, she had a sweet soul and a desire to help those around her, and had a twinkle in her eye, stories from her girlfriends and family are plentiful. Her youth was full of family, dance, birthday parties, soccer and sleepovers. As Lamar grew into high school she would often find herself making friends with strangers just out of kindness. Showing her new friends “the ropes” was a small way of making them feel welcome. Lamar’s social life grew, she had many friends, sleepovers, parties, and especially enjoyed shopping and travel. Most of all she enjoyed photography and caring for others. She leaves behind several beautiful photographs of her brother and his dog, Titan; her favorite subject was animals.
As Lamar progressed through high school, she had plenty of girlfriend to giggle with and boyfriends to flirt with. She made the decision to leave high school early, passing her GED and enrolling in Jeff State Community College. Where, once again, she immediately developed numerous friends in spite of the fact that she was a shy person. Lamar was starting her life, her real life.
Real life comes with its own pressures. She saw her new boyfriend as kind and sweet, something she was happy to point out to everyone. He was a boy who had a tough life and loved her and she loved him. He had his struggles, family and social, but she so wanted to be with him that the struggles were minimized by her desire to show him that the world is a wonderful place and you can find happiness. It felt like a fairy tale.
Her friends saw Lamar withdraw. At 19, Lamar was living a grown up life of work and responsibility. She no longer had time for the parties and events of the teenager’s life. Lamar’s world shifted. She and her friends had drifted apart. Many of her friends say now that they saw the changes coming, but had no idea it was foreshadowing such catastrophic events. Did they see any indication of a life that was too much for such a young person? Did they talk to each other instead of with Lamar? Did they feel there was no room for them in her life? We don’t know… they never talked about it. There is no question that if anyone knew what was going to happen, they would have done something about it. It is so much easier to see looking back, rather than while you are living it. What was the lesson to be learned? If you see something you have questions about, say something or do something about it.
Her family fought to keep her close. Daily phone calls and text messages were passed back and forth. Have dinner with us, come by tonight and watch a movie, let’s go on a trip, contact was kept, but…
But what? It wasn’t enough. TALKING to one another, even if it hurts, can save a life. It can happen to you, or someone you love. Stand up, talk, listen, participate!
