Manipulators and predators look like you, and me, and my brother and my sister, but their values are different. They always come first, however they are clever and will say things to hide their true emotions and purpose. Predators are people. It is the actions that differentiate the predator from you and me and my brother and my sister. They may reveal themselves in small increments or they may let it all hang out fromt he start. Each person is different. What is the same is your need to spot them. And others are more equipped to see trouble in someone else’s relationship, from the outside looking in. Like fingerprints, no two manipulators are the same, and they are hard to identify. That is why The Lamar Project is so important. All of us, at all ages, must learn to identify manipulators and give us the courage to take action.
Middle School children of today face dilemmas that impact the type of life they expect for themselves. Middle school children decide what they will and will not tolerate and those values last a lifetime. Who influences the choice? What events influence the choice> Has social conformity gone beyond toilet papering houses andmoved into quiet acceptance of intolerable behaviors to include substance abuse, date rape, theft from friends, family and strangers and “Girls Gone Wild?”
Today’s young college students are wrapped in a world of parties, all nighters, and a lack of responsibility. In certain instances, girls today are treated as a source of entertainment and selfish desire. Girls see their friends in a situation that can be dismissed as a choice, rather than a culmination of events that put the girl in danger. Did Lamar’s friends think she was in danger?
What about the girl you see at the college party who obviously had too much to drink and is going upstairs with a boy she can hardly see, yet alone remember tomorrow? Do we let her go or do we take her home with us? What dictates our decision? The gradual acceptance of that sort of behavior as expected or acceptable is dangerous. The same thing applies to nosing into other people’s relationships. The rules that have evolved about what we do in situations are difficult to overcome. The Lamar Project is designed to help people understand these rules and take individual action.
You are 12. Your friend talks about sexual incidents in the school bathroom or on the bus. Do you approach the subject? Do you nervously giggle and leave it alone? Do you tell your mom, dad, teacher, guidance counselor? Or do you stay out because it isn’t your business?
You are 15 and your boyfriend steals beer from the store and encourages you to drink with him. You find out he does this every weekend. Do you quietly tolerate? Do you deide you are worth more than this and break up with him?
