The Way Friendship Works
Friends come in many ways, the kids you talk to at school, your cousins, the kids at church, the next door neighbors. The list goes on and on. But what makes a friend? There is a connection between people, shared experiences, common goals, these connections make it easy to talk to each other. Talking leads to concern, caring and, yes, love. When we “feel” about each other, we become friends. Sometimes we want to be friends and have to try really hard, calling, talking, finding the other until the friendship is established and becomes comfortable. Other times, we meet someone and the connection is easy.
Friendship is a “two way street,” which means each friend keeps the connection. Sometimes, we have a friend who no longer makes the effort. Why?
Did I do something wrong?
Did I make him/her mad?
Don’t you like me anymore?
These are expected questions. What is my reaction?
“Fine, I don’t need you anyway.”
“You want to hang out with her instead of me then go ahead.”
“One day you will be sorry.”
What we forget to ask is,
“Does she know that I am sad?”
“Did he stop calling me because I stopped calling him?”
“Is she sad?”
We must reach out and say, “Hey, what’s wrong?” Answers give us clues to what to do next. Maybe she isn’t mad at me, just busy studying. Maybe he was failing English and has to stay home and off the phone to bring up his grades. Maybe she met a new friend who doesn’t want her to hang out with her old friends. That last answer is the scary one. What is wrong with her old friends or what is the issue with the new friend? “Fine, be that way,” is way too easy. Stand up, talk, listen, participate! Be there when she needs you. Help him when he is ready.
Recognize the power of the truth!
